In this dating stories series, we look at the city’s singles, couples and Hong Kong’s dating scene, what our personal and romantic relationships are like and how our upbringing here and abroad has made a difference in the way we view and build them. In our second instalment, we’re talking to Hongkongers and Hong Kong-based people — of any age, relationship length, gender identity and sexuality — about dating using online platforms! Whether it’s a dating-focused app or website, connecting in some way online (like on a forum!) or simply using a regular social media platform to date (guilty!), here’s what they had to say.

Read More: Hong Kong Dating Stories – Intercultural Relationships

What’s your general opinion on online dating?

B, 34 — Chinese, from the UK, Hong Kong-based, has been using some version of a dating app for the past seven years:
It’s a good way to meet people when you don’t have the time or the ability to do that offline. It can be easier to approach or talk to someone with the protection of a screen.

JC, 25 — Chinese, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met on Coffee Meets Bagel. They’ve been together for over two years now:
I think online dating is a good option for people to meet as long as you go into it with a very casual and low-stakes mindset — it should not make or break you or your life.

Anonymous, 25 — Indian, from Hong Kong, opened an account on a dating app six years ago:
I have really mixed emotions about online dating. I either really enjoy it or really, really hate it. Probably 98 percent of my dates were through an online connection.

I’ve used Tinder, Bumble, Hinge — and Coffee Meets Bagel (for about five seconds before I deleted it). I’ve spoken to and met some absolute characters and some I wish I could just forget. But it makes for funny stories to tell. I have also truly met some really great people on these apps. So let’s say 70 percent good, 30 percent not-so-good.

Mash, 26 — Pakistani, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met on Tinder. They’re married and have been together for seven years now:
It’s a great way to meet new people but can also be mentally and emotionally draining.

KA, 26 — Indian, from Hong Kong, has a significant other they met through Instagram. They’re engaged and have been together for two years now:
When I was trying out dating apps, I saw a lot of internet discourse online for the first time about “situationships” and virtual talking stages. Honestly, I never made it that far — I just ended up both reconnecting with old flings and meeting new people through friends of friends IRL.

Read More: That Bride Mashal Mush On Her Sustainable Wedding

On Tinder…

B: I met some great people on it who became long-term partners but equally found people looking purely for hook-ups. The app is what it is and I have never been disappointed in it — just some of the men I have spoken to on it.

A: When I was at uni, I feel like Tinder was my number one go-to dating app. I never really took dating seriously in the sense of looking for anything long-term and Tinder is great for that. There’s an unspoken understanding that Tinder is the hook-up app of the lot.

M: Tinder used to be exciting and very efficient — I stopped using it once I met my significant other so I think a lot has changed over the years. It was just that one rare online connection on Tinder that happened to be my life partner!

Read More: The Orgasm Gap – What Is It And How Can I Close It?

And other dating apps…

B: I probably wouldn’t use Happn again, there’s something a little too real about how it informs people around you of your presence. Bumble is touted as more for relationships than hook-ups but the guys in my experience have never wanted more than a one-night stand. Coffee Meets Bagel was okay, I met a long-term partner on it but on the whole, I wasn’t invested in the app.

Hinge is probably the one I like the most. I enjoy the prompts that force most people to provide an answer, I like that you can see a range of people over and over again — unlike the swipe left and lose them forever aspect of other apps — and I did meet a long-term partner on it. I would probably say it attracts a calibre of people who are a little more relationship-minded.

JC: I technically have a 100 percent success rate since I only physically met with one person from Coffee Meets Bagel and ended up properly dating them. Coffee Meets Bagel seems to be for people who want a more serious and “wholesome” dating experience. Bumble is a step down from the seriousness of CMB and people on the platform are generally more open to casual relationships or even just friendships. But it sometimes feels annoying that the app depends on the woman to initiate the conversation.

A: I’ve genuinely met some really great people on Bumble. It took me some time to get used to the whole ‘girls message first’ thing because I usually forget that the app even exists and then the match expires. I’m now more comfortable with the concept but even then I don’t open the app often so the 24-hour match can be a bit tricky.

KA: I’m really not experienced with online dating — I did try to download a few apps, including Tinder, Bumble and even Muzz (formerly muzmatch) after I graduated from university (and my dating pool obviously suddenly shrunk) but I was honestly very terrible and used them like a little swiping game on my phone.

Read More: 6 Dating Tips – How To Date With Ease

The most surreal experience I’ve had on a dating app?

B: In his first message, a guy straight up asked me if I liked anal. I did not consider that first message material if I’m honest.

KA: I matched with this guy, who I never met up with because he spent the majority of the first messages to me insisting I wasn’t Indian and that I shouldn’t be offended because I didn’t “look like your neighbourhood next-door Indian”. He was a Persian from Canada so I don’t know what was going on there. I’m usually identified as Indo-Pak both in real life and online by other South Asians and I’ve even gotten voice recording messages in Hindi-Urdu – despite never writing anywhere that I could understand the language.

And a not-so-great experience I’ve had that included a dating app was when I matched with a friend of a friend I’d seen once in real life. I remembered him, he didn’t remember me but we met up. I hadn’t paid close attention to our Bumble profiles but he had — he knew my age and that I was going to be taller than him. I asked him how old he was but the next time we met up, he confessed he’d lied. It doesn’t sound that bad — but “agefishing” is really icky, and I couldn’t shake off how horrible it made me feel for the next few weeks. I still see him around but I don’t speak to him.

Read More: Anti-Asian Hate Goes Beyond The COVID Pandemic

The generations above me think…

B: My parent’s generation doesn’t like or understand the concept of online dating. If we’re talking about Gen X’s view however, I think it is not much different to how I, a Millennial, view dating platforms except I believe it is more than the home of hook-up culture — I know real relationships can and have been created on them.

JC: Online dating is unsafe and “unethical” to some degree, based on some thoughts I have heard from my mother.

A: I want to say I’m probably more open to online dating than the generation above but I also feel like that line is a bit more blurred now. I had friends in uni who are my age and are very anti-dating apps. To each their own.

Read More: How To Stop Comparing Your Relationship To Others

And the generation below me…

B: They form parasocial relationships so hard and fast on social media that I don’t think the idea of dating platforms phases them at all.

JC: I’ve heard about them having purely online relationships for long periods of time before ever physically meeting the other person. And I think they’re much more comfortable with meeting people online in general, through Instagram and Snapchat; not necessarily dating apps.

Read More: How To Break The Cycle Of Relationship Burnout

If I had to tell a friend about dating apps…

B: I’d recommend Hinge for people seriously looking for a relationship, Tinder for hooking up or both but no one app will ever be one or the other.

And finally, I’d say

B: Dating platforms are great, to be honest. They can be terrible for your self-esteem and the whole dating experience can be soul-crushing — but even so, the apps aren’t so bad. I’ve met some truly wonderful men and some absolutely awful ones thanks to the apps but that would easily happen if I’d met them in real life. The apps open up the pool a lot more, that’s all.

A: Dating apps are fun and I don’t think they should be taken too seriously. Just have fun with it and be safe. If you’re going on a date with a new date — share your location with your friends!

KA: My most successful relationship is actually due to an online connection on a very regular social media platform. I was following my now-fiancé on Instagram for over a year, literally replied to one of his stories, he saw it, followed me back and we became friends. We started seeing each other romantically a few months later. Meeting up for the first time in real life was so scary, I worried about it for weeks. I was so sure it was going to be weird and terrible but it wasn’t! It was a risk that really paid off.

I feel like I don’t have a concrete opinion on dating, because I tend to make friends with someone and then catch feelings. Dating apps just seem like an extension of a not-so-great in-real-life dating pool. I think it’s scary — but I think the dating scene is also scary. Strangers? No background checks? Men? All scary stuff, online and off.

Read More: The Best Relationship Podcasts For Love, Sex & Dating Advice

Editor’s Note: Like what you read? We’re always looking for more people to share their thoughts and stories (whether you’re in a relationship or not!). Reach out to us at editorialAB幸运飞开艇官网开奖记录查询.com

The post Hong Kong Dating Stories: Online Dating appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

The orgasm gap, or pleasure gap, refers to the general disparity in sexual satisfaction between cisgender men and women – more specifically, the fact that women orgasm less than men during sexual interactions. Studies have shown that only 55% of women (as compared to 95% of men) are likely to have an orgasm during a sexual encounter. This gap widens with casual hook-ups and is typically narrower in committed relationships.

There are many reasons why the gap exists, a big factor being cultural ignorance surrounding the clitoris and the prioritisation of penetrative sex. Ahead, we dig deeper into the issue and what we can do to close the orgasm gap.

Read More: Male And Female Sexuality Myths Debunked

Bridging The Orgasm Gap: Prioritisation Of Male Pleasure

What do you picture when you hear the word “sex”? For many, heterosexual sex equates to penetrative intercourse, while clitoral stimulation (women’s most common means of orgasm) is often downplayed as foreplay.

This social construct, in part, exists because of the way sex is usually portrayed in mainstream media and porn (i.e. women appearing to have mind-blowing orgasms from penetrative intercourse). However, the fact of the matter is that 70-80% of women are unable to orgasm through penetration alone as it does not provide enough clitoral stimulation.

Women are simply not stimulated enough from just penetrative intercourse.

As a sex coach, this is the first thing I explain to female clients who are feeling disappointed or “broken” when orgasms seem elusive during penetrative sex. I reassure them that it’s likely they are simply not being stimulated in a way that works for them.

The Stud Vs Slut Narrative

Another cultural problem that contributes to the orgasm gap is the tendency for society to judge women more harshly than men for engaging in casual sex. Why is it that men are often admired for their many sexual conquests, whereas women are expected to protect their virtue and purity?

A double standard that holds women back from exploring their bodies and sexuality

This “stud vs slut” narrative seems to be prevalent among the more conservative societies in Asia, making it harder for them to advocate for their own pleasure – to ask for what they want. Many heterosexual women tend to feel a sense of duty or responsibility to please their male partner and in turn, neglect to focus on their own needs and desires.

So How Can We Close The Orgasm Gap?

The best way to fix the problem is for people to get educated on the topic. Many of us received a terribly limited sex education growing up that focused on reproduction and glossed over pleasure. In order to close the gap, it’s important for us all to get more familiar with the ins and outs of female sexuality and pleasure.

The social practices around sex is also something that needs to be changed. Women need to learn how to be better at asking for what they want and communicating to their partners what gives them pleasure. Attending an online coaching programme, such as my Better in Bed Foundations course, is a great way for women to get in touch with their own sexuality and break out of patterns that result in unfulfilling, lacklustre sex.

Read More: How To Love Your Vulva

Redefine Sex

Another way to close the orgasm gap is to change how sex is defined. Sex isn’t just about intercourse, it’s about all forms of pleasure and play that brings enjoyment to both parties involved. This means putting just as much effort into providing external stimulation as internal stimulation.

While this may seem counter-intuitive in an article discussing the orgasm gap, less focus should be put on the “goal” of orgasm so both partners can relax and enjoy themselves in whatever way brings them pleasure.

Know What You Want

The women who are most likely to ensure they orgasm with a partner are those who know how get there on their own. How else will you teach someone else how you like it? I encourage anyone with a vulva to take responsibility for their own pleasure and make sure you get it, rather than hoping for it.

The key to understanding what turns you on or off and knowing exactly how you (and your clitoris) like to be stimulated is masturbation. If you’ve never used a sex toy before, you don’t need to be intimidated. There are many simple bullet-style vibrators that allow you to experience direct clitoral stimulation, and they are handy to have around either for a solo session or even when things are heating up with a partner.

That said, a huge amount of the female arousal and pleasure happens in the mind. So it’s important to put aside any worry about whether your partner is enjoying himself or if you will climax. This type of mental chatter draws you out of the moment and can make it difficult to experience the heights of pleasure.

Read More: 7 Sex Toys And Vibrators For Beginners

Ask For What You Want

Don’t be afraid to let your partner know what you enjoy and what you need in order to climax. It’s a great idea to have extended foreplay sessions (I like to call them play sessions) that forego the penetrative element, to give you both a chance to learn what the other likes.

It’s okay to make requests to a partner such as slowing down the pace, directing them to give you more clitoral stimulation, or even pausing so you can reach for a sex toy. Most partners want to please you, so help them by telling them what you need.

And if you’re not feeling it that night, just let them know that you don’t think you’ll orgasm – never fake it. Even if it feels easier to do so. By faking an orgasm, you send the message that whatever your partner is doing is working, which will result in them doing the same unfulfilling things repeatedly.

Advice For The Guys

Don’t take it personally if your partner didn’t orgasm from penetration. Ensure she is getting a healthy amount of direct clitoral stimulation instead, whether manually, orally or with the help of a vibrator.

Slow things down to build tension and arousal. Most women need a longer time to build-up from arousal to climax than men, so be patient. Instead of heading straight for the genitals, start by stimulating the rest of her body. Maybe try a simple massage to ensure she’s relaxed and focused on your touch, rather than other things going on in her day.

Be attentive to what she needs. Approach talking about sex away from the bedroom when the pressure is off, and then check in again during sex with a “Like this?” or “How does this feel?” during. But just be wary that too many questions can take your partner out of the moment. Don’t assume that every woman enjoys the same things. Sex isn’t a one-size-fits-all type of activity.

Find The Balance

At the heart of every great sexual relationship is consistent communication, mutual respect and a balance of giving and receiving pleasure. As long as you approach every sexual encounter with the knowledge that each party deserves equal enjoyment from this experience, you and your partner are much more likely to have a satisfying sex life.

Read More: Could Sex Help You Sleep Better?

Editor’s Note: “The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It?” was first published in October 2020 and was most recently updated in March 2023 by Team Sassy.

The post The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It? appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

In this new series, we’re looking at Hong Kong couples and the city’s dating scene, what our personal and romantic relationships are like and how our upbringing here and abroad has made a difference in the way we view and build them. In our inaugural post, we’re looking at intercultural couples of different ages and relationship lengths, discovering their experiences dating outside their ethnicity, considering the reactions from their community members and loved ones and more…

Read More: 6 Dating Tips – How To Date With Ease

Our Couples

Fashila, 27, is an Indian Hongkonger dating a 28-year-old Bangladeshi. You may recognise her as our Associate Editor and we’re pleased to confirm that the couple is recently engaged!

E (pseudonym) is a Chinese-American dating an Indian. They’re both in their mid to late 20s and met in Volar (which closed in 2021 after 17 years of operating in Lan Kwai Fong!). 

Lastly, Olivia (pseudonym), 30, is Filipino Chinese dating a 31-year-old French man. This couple met through the app “happn” and have been together for 4 years.

Have you told your family? What was their reaction?

Fashila: Yes. They love him and even if my mom at times struggles to communicate with him, she finds her ways.

E: I told my family about my partner 3 years into dating him but I told them it had been 2 years. Their initial questions were a bit questionable (they actually asked what passport he had!) but they haven’t had a strongly negative or positive reaction to him yet.

Olivia: [My family] didn’t say anything until they noticed certain things that he did. Like if he was offered food by my parents, he would always accept it. This is a cultural difference of ours, it’s rude to refuse food in his culture (French).

Did you tell them straight away?

F: I didn’t. I knew I would only introduce him to my parents if we were both on the same page. We got to know each other first and waited for the right time to tell them.

O: Yes, I was annoyed my parents were creating drama about it so I just wanted it to be resolved right away.

E: My parents’ biggest concern is religion because they are both very Christian. I haven’t been Christian in a long time. It was tough for me to tell them about my partner because I was really scared about disappointing them (he’d consider himself agnostic or spiritual).

But I worked through these fears with friends and a therapist. I’m constantly trying to remind myself that being a Christian is no longer something that is good for me (in fact, it put me into years of therapy), and I can’t control what expectations my parents put on me. But I can choose to be with someone who not only brings me joy but helps me grow and be a better person.

Two Bengalis dressed in traditional Tamil attire

Was there pushback?

F: Not really. Despite being from different countries and speaking entirely different languages*, ultimately we both prioritise coming from the same religious background.

E: Nope — or not yet?

*Bengali is an Indo-Aryan language like Punjabi, Hindi-Urdu, Nepali and Gujurati (and more!), while Tamil is a Dravidian language!

Did your friends have any interesting reactions? Did you hesitate to tell them?

F: They’ve started calling me a Bengali or a half-Bengali (haha!). And telling them was a breeze. Again, this could be because we’re both [South Asian] and share the same religion.

E: My friends have been pretty encouraging of our relationship — I didn’t hesitate to tell them! I don’t think they would ever judge my partner based on their race or ethnicity. Some of my friends are desi* and many of them are also in interracial and intercultural relationships.

*Meaning “of the nation” in Hindi-Urdu and other Indo-Aryan languages. An umbrella term commonly used for North Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis.

Read More: How To Stop Comparing Your Relationship To Others

Would you consider you and your partner to be quite similar or different?

F: We’re very similar.

E: Very different – which means there has been much to learn from each other and many ways to grow in our relationship. Communication is key.

O: We are different but similar in some ways.

How about culturally and when it comes to how you practice and engage with your culture?

F: His side is more loud and sociable whereas my side is more reserved and conservative, so yes we do have quite a number of cultural differences despite being from neighbouring countries (India and Bangladesh). But we both bond over our love for seafood, especially fish!

E: I think we’re both pretty engaged with our cultures (Chinese-Amerian and Indian) — the good and the bad! We talk a lot about the political aspects of our cultures, and I enjoy learning from what he has to say as I also enjoy sharing about my upbringing.

Read More: How To Break The Cycle Of Relationship Burnout

A spread of Bengali pithas, some of which are very similar to Tamil cuisine!

What surprised you the most about your partner’s or each other’s culture?

E: I was most surprised by how long cricket matches are — I could not understand at first how one game could be five days long. I am also always surprised by how much more there is to learn about desi cuisine — I’ve enjoyed exploring this in Hong Kong by visiting restaurants and eating our friends’ cooking.

I was also impressed by how much I like Coke Studio songs (I usually find it hard to enjoy music when I don’t understand the lyrics, but some of those songs are just so beautifully performed — there’s no way to be unmoved while listening to some of them).

“I was, in fact, really surprised to find out we share a lot of traditions and favourite snacks.”
— Fashila

F: I was, in fact, really surprised to find out we share a lot of traditions and favourite snacks — whatever we both thought were unique to our cultures actually weren’t! From afternoon nibbles to superstitions and even minor similarities in vocabulary, it’s always interesting to find similarities and laugh about who copied whom!

O: In my culture (Filipino-Chinese), every elder is addressed as an aunt and uncle but I had to call his mom and dad by their first names. I felt really awkward saying it out loud, like I was being disrespectful to them.

Read More: 15 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas Your S.O. Will Love

What do you love most about your partner’s culture?

F, dating a Bangladeshi: Their hospitality and warmth!

E, dating an Indian: I don’t think I can pinpoint one thing I love most! There’s a lot to love and lots more to learn.

O, dating a French man: The food, and the ability to slow down and enjoy the moment.

What are things to know about dating someone outside your own culture?

E: As long as your values align, there’s so much to learn and explore when you don’t confine yourself to only dating people of your own culture. Oftentimes, the toughest part to work out is family. But even for families of different cultures, there are ways to make it work: learn some phrases in another language, create other shared experiences that don’t require them to speak the same language, etc. Again, even when it comes to family, communication is key!

And hopefully, they can be happy that you’re happy with the person you’re dating. But that might not always be the case, so you need to decide for yourself what is most important to you when dating someone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have someone your parents can easily communicate with, but figure that out before you take deeper steps in your relationships.

Read More: The Best Relationship Podcasts For Love, Sex & Dating Advice

“We’ve learned that even when speaking the same language, certain words don’t always have the same implications for everyone.”

– E

What would you say someone should know about dating your ethnicity or your partner’s ethnicity?

O: In my culture (Filipino-Chinese), those older than us are always right and there are a lot more rules to follow in comparison to my partner’s ethnicity.

E: If you have a desi partner, don’t call curry “sauce”, or roti or paratha or naan “bread”! If you have a Chinese partner, don’t expect our desserts to be sweet. If you’re dating an American, it takes us time to learn to say “football” instead of “soccer” — sorry, we’re trying!

“It’s important to be open to each other’s culture”
— O

And finally, do you have any advice for other intercultural couples?

F: Always show respect to not only your significant other but also to their family. Embrace differences, listen with open ears and an open mind and lastly, try to learn their language or traditions, it’s super sweet and thoughtful!

E: Communication is key (openness is too, but hopefully most people already know that!). We’ve learned that even when speaking the same language, certain words don’t always have the same implications for everyone. It’s important to clarify exactly what the other person is saying before jumping to conclusions, especially during disagreements or tension.

O: It’s important to be open to each other’s culture and try to adapt, especially when meeting each other’s families.

Editor’s Note: Like what you read? We’re always looking for more people to share their thoughts and stories (whether you’re in a relationship or not!). Reach out to us at editorialAB幸运飞开艇官网开奖记录查询.com

The post Hong Kong Dating Stories: Intercultural Relationships appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

Looking for gift ideas that’ll impress your Valentine? Whether you’re looking to spoil your romantic partner, help pick out a present for a loved one or want to treat your best galentines (or maybe you’re shopping for yourself, we won’t judge!), you’ve come to the right place. From scented candles and red lipsticks to homegrown flower bouquets, local jewellery, handmade heart-stitched sweaters and sweet treats, here are 16 Valentine’s Day gift ideas that we’re confident your significant other will love, all available to buy in Hong Kong.

Read More: The 20 Best Mother’s Day Gift Ideas In Hong Kong

Better Than Flowers, Gift Box, From $199

We love this super cute gifting idea — a customisable box full of sweet eats and trinkets complete with a personalised card delivered directly to your sweetheart’s doorstep. First, pick a balloon or gift box. Then, choose from over 100 items including treats from homegrown brands (like Conspiracy Chocolate!), delicate jewellery, scented candles, artisanal soaps and more. And finally, sit back and relax while Better Than Flowers takes care of the rest!

Use the code SASSY to get 10% off.

Read More: Build A Customisable Balloon Gift Box With Better Than Flowers

Grace & Favour HK, Valentine’s Day Roses, From $1,480

Not your average roses, but premium Ecuadorian rose bouquets and rose boxes from award-winning florist Grace & Favour HK, yes, this is what we’re eyeing to gift our significant other this Valentine’s Day. The roses are all flown in directly from partner farms and are kept fresh for purchase. What’s special about these blooms? They’re prized for their large bud sizes and longevity, making this gift all the more memorable.

BAKU, Spa and Massage Experience For Two People, $1,688

Head to the newly-opened BAKU, an Okinawa and Thai-style spa, for this experience for two that includes a 75-minute signature aroma oil massage in a cosy, private room, followed by dessert.

Read More: The Best Spas In Hong Kong

Nike, Air Force 1 ’07 sneakers, $2,686

While we wait for Nike’s “Valentine’s Day 2023” collection to drop in stores, there’s no harm in considering rare limited editions from the years before — like these white and wild cherry red leather Air Force 1 ’07 sneakers.

Read More: The Best Shoe Shops In Hong Kong

The Floristry, The Flower Jar Subscription, $275

Instead of just one bouquet this Valentine’s, gift your loved one a weekly delivery of fresh flowers to their doorstep with The Floristry’s subscription service.

Read More: Top Flower Shops & Florists In Hong Kong For Flower Delivery

3CE, Multi Eye Colour Palette – Delightful, $329

A stunning nine-pan eyeshadow palette featuring glitter and shimmer pink and coral shades, with natural mineral powder and creamy formulas for easy, smooth application.

The Cakery, Valentine’s Day Collection, From $238

Matcha white chocolate ganache hearts, raspberry dark chocolate, a show-stopping heart-shaped cake,  strawberry rose mille-feuille and more — all available from Thursday, 26 January to Sunday, 19 February.

Read More: Cake Shops In Hong Kong – Customised Cakes, Cake Deliveries & More

LUSH, With Love Gift Set, $310

A trio of fresh and floral shower, bath, and body products: “Love” shower gel, “Dream Cream” hand and body lotion and the sweetest “Tisty Tosty” heart-shaped bath bomb.

Read More: Local Vegan, Cruelty-Free & Sustainable Beauty Brands We Love

CHARLES & KEITH, Chloris Satin & Leather Rose-Print Shoulder Bag – Red, $1,299

This red shoulder bag features a rose print and soft satin and natural calf leather textures. Part of the special collaboration with Shanghai-based fashion label SHUSHU/TONG.

Read More: Affordable Under-The-Radar Handbag Brands To Know

ColourPop, Pressed Powder Blush – Babycakes, $12 USD (about $94 HKD)

A rich matte blush that glides on smoothly and leaves cheeks with a natural flush of colour. Long-wearing, silky and all packed up in the prettiest heart-shaped compact.

Read More: Our Favourite Blush – The Top 10 We Couldn’t Live Without

éclater jewellery, Heart Hoop Earrings – 14K Gold Plated, $248

A Team Sassy-favourite local brand, éclater jewellery’s delicate open heart hoops are perfect for gifting. 14K gold plated and 316 stainless steel. Also available in sterling silver S925.

Read More: Hong Kong Jewellery Shops – Online & Independent Designers And Stores We Love

Sheer, Bordelle Cymatic Bodice Bra, $5,550

Truly indulgent lingerie — a luxurious bodice bra with delicate embroidered tulle cups, striking longline underband, chain-link gold components and overlaid strapping details.

Read More: Where To Buy Lingerie In Hong Kong

diptyque, Roses Candle 600g, $1,600

A floral scented wax candle in a hand-crafted porcelain container — in the softest pink, stamped with diptyque’s signature characteristic oval. Burns for 90 hours.

Read More: Where To Buy Candles, Diffusers & Room Sprays In Hong Kong

Hourglass, Unlocked Satin Crème Lipstick – Red O, $330

Brand new from Hourglass, this ultra-hydrating lipstick delivers a luxe, satin crème finish and is truly 100 percent vegan — using an exclusive replacement for the insect-derived carmine!

Read More: New Beauty Buys For January 2023 – Rare Beauty, NARS & More

Heyays, 3D Heart Love Cardigan, $1,510.32

Using an original design, this 100 percent handmade button-down cardigan is simply too cute for words! Decorated with 3D handmade crochet hearts.

Read More: Online Shopping In Hong Kong – Top Fashion Websites With Free Shipping

Bang & Olufsen, Beoplay H95 Headphones – Lunar Red, $8,498

A gorgeous red and gold version of the completely on-trend Beoplay H95 ultimate over-ear headphones! Excellent design and sound output, with adjustable noise-cancelling.

How about a gift hamper?

If you still haven’t found what you’re looking for, head to our main gift guide landing page.

Or if you’re searching for gift inspiration for the family, check out the selection on our sister site Sassy Mama.

Editor’s Note: All listed prices were correct at the time of publication.

The post 16 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas Your S.O. Will Love appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

You can experience anxiety and stress in many areas of your life but the most common environments and stressors are to do with work, relationships and financial strain. Stress can affect us throughout the day but, unfortunately, it tends to hit the hardest during the only time some of us have to worry: when we’re in bed. Relaxing your body and mind can help prepare you for a decent night’s sleep — and an orgasm could be the answer! Plus, you don’t need a partner, a handy sex toy will do!

Read More: The Best Sex Shops In Hong Kong – Sex Toys, Lingerie & More

First, How Much Sleep Do We Really Get?

How many hours of sleep are you getting each night? Do you struggle to fall asleep or find that you wake up throughout the night for an unwanted period of time? You’re not alone!

In Hong Kong, it is estimated over 2 million people suffer from sleep deprivation and insomnia.

There are many factors that can impact our sleep, from nutritional deficiencies and hormonal imbalances to sleep disorders such as sleep apnea. As an Adult Sleep Coach and insomnia specialist, the most common cause of sleep disturbances I come across is stress and anxiety. But it takes the average person 10 years of suffering from insomnia before they seek help.

Why Stress Is The Leading Cause Of Lack Of Sleep

When we are stressed, our bodies produce a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol gives us the feeling of being wired and on edge. This makes sleep very difficult and can lead to lying in bed for long periods of time feeling restless and frustrated.

How Sex Comes Into Play

In order to help regulate the cortisol hormone in our bodies, we need serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is associated with feelings of contentment, calm and happiness, whilst dopamine is associated with feelings of satisfaction and rewards.

Regulates the feeling of stress and replaces it with relaxation and calm to help you fall asleep easier.

Having sex and reaching orgasm helps your body to produce serotonin and dopamine, which relieves you of your feeling of stress at bedtime. It’s exactly what you need to be able to drift off to sleep after a long and tiring day! Obviously, learning how to digest and process our day prior to bedtime benefits us too but an orgasm can provide a quick fix.

Read More: Your Guide To Achieving Total Self-Love

How To Spice It Up Before Bedtime

An orgasm does not have to be supported by a partner, although if you live or sleep with your partner, this bedtime routine could be beneficial to your sleep as well as support your physical bond. If you do not have a bed partner, include masturbation and perhaps a toy to help you reach this goal. I’d recommend experimenting to see what works for you and getting to know your own body.

Using this method of relaxation is a great short-term solution and can definitely be used as a ‘go-to’ if it is a challenge for you to get a good night’s sleep.

Last But Not Least, Seeking Help Is Always Okay

Should you find you’re experiencing stress every night and are continuing to have issues sleeping, I’d recommend booking a consultation with a sleep coach to explore the problem further. Sleep is a natural process that all our bodies are capable of doing but we may sometimes experience mental and physical barriers.

As sleep can be affected by so many different factors, searching for the answers on your own can be extremely frustrating. I’d urge you to speak with a specialist to help you identify these sleep barriers and start your journey to feeling alert and energetic again! Good quality sleep can be our superpower.

Otherwise, if your difficulties falling asleep are infrequent, experiment with an orgasm before bed and pay attention to how you feel afterwards! Allow yourself to relax and enjoy all those wonderful hormones.

Read More: 5 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey

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Sometimes you need a bit of help to keep things interesting in the bedroom. Luckily, there are enough adult sex shops dotted around the city that every fantasy can be fulfilled. Stocking everything from organic lubricants and sex toy sets to body jewellery and lacy lingerie, here’s our pick of the best sex shops and adult stores in Hong Kong (online and physical) to get you in the mood.

Read More: Our Favourite Lingerie Boutiques In Hong Kong

Adam & Eve – Sex toys for gay and lesbian couples and more

One of the longest standing in the industry, Adam & Eve is an all-inclusive company based in the US. It spotlights two brands – Adammale and EvesToys – that exclusively cater to gay and lesbian couples. It’s also one of the largest online sexual education centres, and takes special care in ensuring that all of its products reflect a positive and healthy portrait of human sexuality.

Adam & Eve, www.adameve.com

Avec Amour Lingerie – Premium lingerie, body jewellery and bedroom accessories

Avec Amour is well loved for bringing premium lingerie brands such as Bluebella, Bordelle, Heidi Klum Intimates and Atelier Amour to Hong Kong, but it goes the extra mile with its collection of bedroom accessories. Amp up the allure with body jewellery, or add a little glamour with gorgeous leather bondage pieces. As Avec Amour is only available online, you can shop in the comfort of your own home and have all your goodies delivered discreetly to your doorstep!

Avec Amour Lingerie, www.avecamourlingerie.com

Joyful Night – BDSM toys, lingerie and more

Joyful Night was founded by a local Hong Kong YouTuber, Cindy Yeung, who was also an ex-contestant of Miss Hong Kong 2012. On her YouTube channel, Cindy gives tips on how to increase pleasure through different sex toys. Her shops offer a wide range of adult goods from Japan and overseas for both genders, including vibrators, stimulators, lubricating oils, lingerie and BDSM accessories.

Joyful Night (Sin Tat Plaza), Shop 58, 2/F, Sin Tat Plaza, 83 Argyle Street, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong

Joyful Night (Sino Centre), Shop 48, B/F, Sino Centre, 582-592 Nathan Road, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 6728 2159, www.joyful-night.com

Read More: How To Fulfil Your Sexual Fantasies

Lovesations – Sex toys, massage candles, bedroom accessories and more

Lovesations is an online Dutch brand that is made for women, by women. Its collection may be limited, but rest assured that it is all of premium quality. Get the squad together and try before you buy by hosting your own sales party – guaranteed to keep the fun lasting all night.

Lovesations, www.lovesations.nl

Loveshop – A wide range of Japanese sex products (and wine!)

Aptly named and affordable, Loveshop specialises in all things Japanese. What sets Loveshop apart from other sex shops is its 2,000 sq. ft. space, decorated with adult video star look-a-like love dolls. It may be a lot to take in at first, but you’ll find that this sex shop stocks all the essentials and more (it moonlights as a wine shop!) – and at great prices too.

Loveshop, Room 601B, 6/F, Cheong Hing Building, 72 Nathan Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5664 7638, www.loveshop.com.hk

Read More: How To Make Initiating Sex A Fun & Playful Experience

Omakase Toy – Japanese sex toys, organic lubricants and more

In true Japanese omakase fashion, you can trust Omasake Toy to provide a curated selection of the finest Japanese sex toys and intimate products out there. The shop carries all the essentials for both solo and couple use, including organic lubricants, luxe vibrators and other easy-to-use sex toys. If you’re short on time and can’t make it to one of their physical stores, you can also shop online and get the goods delivered to your doorstep (and even opt for a four-hour delivery!).

Omakase Toy, various locations across Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5419 4065, www.omakasetoy.com

Sally’s Toy by Sally Coco – High-end sex toys, fetish wear and more

This sophisticated intimate lifestyle shop is sure to make you feel at ease and will pique your curiosity as soon you enter the space. Founded by local couple Vera and Picco, Sally’s Toy is a female-friendly brand that sells knowledge first and high-end products second. We love Sally’s for its collection of menstrual care products, sex toys and luxurious lingerie and fetish wear for all genders. It also runs workshops for those wanting to take their bedroom game to new heights.

Sally’s Toy, various locations across Hong Kong, 3175 7408, WhatsApp: 6115 4506, www.sallystoy.com

Salty Corner – Stimulators, harnesses and more

Salty Corner collects a variety of innovative and high quality sex toys from all corners of the world, stocking well-known brands from the US, Europe, Japan and Taiwan. Catering to all fantasies and fetishes, you will find everything from nipple stimulators to flavoured lubricants, harnesses and so much more.

Salty Corner, Room D, 2/F, Sun Kai Mansion, 38 Hennessy Road, Wan Chai, Hong Kong, WhatsApp: 5500 0608, saltycorner.com

Read More: 7 Sex Toys And Vibrators For Beginners

Take Toys – Sex toys, lubricants and love dolls

Take Toys is the city’s first “sex product supermarket” franchise and has 14 locations across Hong Kong. It prides itself on being at the forefront of the local market and one of the largest sex shops in Hong Kong. Online orders made before 4pm are delivered on the same day, and the stores are all open till midnight.

Take Toys, various locations across Hong Kong, 3586 3720, WhatsApp: 6990 6501, taketoys.hk

Wanta – Sex toys sets, lingerie and S&M items

Small and intimate, you definitely wouldn’t expect to find a whole treasure trove of adult products inside until you step through its doors. There’s no need to feel overwhelmed though as Wanta offers professional demos on an array of its products, which includes everything from fancy massagers and special lubricants, to S&M items, sex toys and lingerie. Wanta also stocks items such as pheromone-enhancing body lotions and a sex toy set designed for couples in long-distance relationships.

Wanta, 2/F, 28 Russell Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, 6468 8081, www.wanta.net

Xi Point (Pleasure Point) – Sex toys, stimulation serums, lingerie and more

Xi Point positions itself as a gathering point for people interested in exploring their sexuality. While the online store offers a great selection of sex toys, stimulation serums and  to play around with, it’s worth visiting the Mong Kok or Causeway Bay store where the staff are poised to share their sexual health knowledge and life-long sexual pleasure advice.

Pleasure Point (Mong Kok), Room 2101, Pakpolee Commercial Centre, 1A Sai Yeung Choi Street South, Mong Kok, Kowloon, Hong Kong, 9069 0717, https://pleasurepoint.storewww.facebook.com/喜穴-Pleasure-Point

Pleasure Point (Causeway Bay), Po Foo Building, 1-5 Foo Ming Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, 5744 7779, pleasurepoint.store

Read More: 6 Sex Toys To Help You Experiment In The Bedroom

Editor’s Note: “The Best Sex Shops In Hong Kong: Sex Toys, Lingerie & More” was originally written by Sarah Richard and published on 17 February, 2019, and was most recently updated by Team Sassy in September 2022. With thanks to Inés Fung and Nathalie Sommer for their contributions.

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Do you feel your head spinning with the numerous contradicting dating rules that have somehow become common knowledge in modern dating? You’ve probably come across some of these main offenders like don’t be too available, don’t be too distant, don’t respond too quickly – make them wait, you don’t want to look needy; but don’t make them wait too long, they’ll lose interest. It’s enough to turn anyone off dating but it doesn’t have to be this hard. Read on for some expert tips from relationship coach Nathalie Sommer to help you bring the fun and excitement back into the dating process.

Read More: How To Break The Cycle Of Relationship Burnout

Set Boundaries

Are you tired of receiving late-night texts or phone calls? Or maybe you’re fed up with the lack of attention from the person you’ve been dating?

First of all, identify what behaviour isn’t working for you. Then, talk to them about how that behaviour makes you feel.

You could say something like, “I enjoy spending time with you and I think you’re amazing (start with the positive), but I feel like we might not be on the same page. I want to get to know you better, but if you’re not available for that, I feel like I’m wasting my time. I trust you will respect my feelings as I enjoy our time spent together”.

Make sure you follow through with the consequence if they don’t step up! Otherwise, they’ll know if you’re bluffing next time and won’t take you seriously. Additionally, it sets a precarious precedent for your future relationships.

Know When Someone Is Ghosting You & Respond

Ghosting – as some of us may know all too well – is when someone you’ve been dating or talking to suddenly stops all communication with you and pretty much drops off the face of the earth. You can think everything is going well and then next minute they’re gone, and you’re left wondering what happened.

There are many different reasons people ghost (fear of the unknown, conflict avoidance etc.) but whatever the reason, this is something they have to work on – do not blame yourself.

You can say something along the lines of, “I haven’t heard from you in a long while, so I am going to assume this isn’t going any further. It would be nice to get some clarity”. Give a time limit for when you want to hear from them, and if you don’t hear back by the deadline, move on.

Read More: How To Stop Comparing Your Relationship To Others

Understand The Power Of Polarity

The dating game is incredibly sexy, fun and beautiful when you know how to play with the balance of masculine and feminine (not so much in a gender-related sense, think of it like Yin & Yang) and create polarity. If you want to attract someone that leads, is ambitious, assertive and desires y0u (leading in their yang), you have to invite them to dance with you as you lean into your playful, receptive energy (surrender into your yin).

Stand firm in the feminine yin energy and realise your worth and power. From that place, you’ll be able to attract the right match.

When you’re in your yin energy, dating can be easy and fun once you get out of your head and work on your belief system. The masculine yang energy would give anything to be with someone easy going, and fun.

Connect To Your Sensual Being

We all have sensual and intimate desires, and getting clear about your needs and wants allows you to be more powerful and confident. To fully own that, you simply need to explore that side of you, both inside and outside the bedroom. Take some time to discover what gives you sexual pleasure. Or practice dialling up your body language – move slowly and sensually, soften your voice, lean back – it’s fun and playful and flirty!

Read More: 5 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey

Stand Firm In Your Beliefs

Make it a goal to be your authentic self when dating. As cliché as it sounds, staying true to you involves your “inner” game matching your “outer” game. The first step is to be honest with yourself, look at your beliefs around relationships, acknowledge your past patterns and restore your self-worth. Once you do that, you’ll notice everything shifts and others will feel it too.

Here are some things you can do:

• Journal and reflect on what your past relationships had in common. Ask yourself; how did I feel in my previous relationships (what felt right/what felt wrong)? What did they have in common? What were my learnings? Where do I need to take responsibility? How do I want to feel in the next relationship?
• Do more of the things that help you connect with your inner self (i.e. being in nature, reading a book, journalling, practising mindfulness, connecting with your body through dance, yoga and meditation, etc.).
• If you want to improve your relationship with others and open yourself up to true intimacy, you first need to strengthen your relationship with yourself.
• I recommend reading the book Wired For Love to help you understand your own and others’ attachment styles to create healthy relationships.

Welcome Vulnerability, It’s Your Strength

To paraphrase research professor and author Brene Brown, no act of courage has ever taken place without first stepping into vulnerability. In other words, it’s time to be courageous, follow your gut and do YOU. It’s only natural to want to protect ourselves from having our feelings hurt and to evade rejection.

Being vulnerable is a risk we have to take to experience any kind of meaningful connection.

Take the lead in revealing yourself according to your level of trust and comfort, and create a space where honest, revelatory and expansive conversations can occur (you might be surprised how others start doing the same). We want to protect ourselves from being hurt, so we reject vulnerability, but in doing so, we also deny ourselves the possibility of connection, belonging, joy and genuine happiness.

Read More: 5 Common Relationship Myths Debunked

Editor’s Note: “6 Dating Tips: How To Date With Ease” was originally published in February 2021 by Nathalie Sommer and was most recently updated in August 2022.

The post 6 Dating Tips: How To Date With Ease appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

Although sex toys and vibrators have become more widely accepted and are now more accessible than ever, it can be overwhelming (even a little intimidating) to choose from the many different shapes, sizes and types of pleasure products out there. If you want a clearer idea of what you’re buying (no returns!), we’d suggest making your way to sex shops in Hong Kong (nothing to be embarrassed about!) where the shopkeepers can introduce you to a range of products to see what best suits you. Read on for our pick of beginner-friendly sex toys to add to your cart (and bedroom!).

Read More: The Best Sex Shops in Hong Kong

Best Beginner-Friendly Sex Toys And Vibrators

LELO Gigi 2 – G-Spot Vibrator

Easy to use and maximise pleasure. Coming in four gorgeous shades, this G-spot vibrator is made of phthalate-free silicone and feels super smooth and soft (almost like the real deal!). Great for external stimulation and insertion, the ELO Gigi 2 is waterproof and can last up to four hours after you charge it for two hours. It comes with an ultra-quiet vibration as well when you want undisturbed pleasure.

Good for: Intense solo sessions

Available at Sally’s Toys (various locations across Hong Kong), or buy online.

Lovense Nora Bluetooth Rabbit Vibrator – G-spot Vibrator

Waterproof and easy to clean, Lovense’s app-controlled (you can also control the vibrator using the buttons on the handle) rabbit vibrator includes a rotating head, optimised shaft and a vibrating arm — offering the best G-spot stimulation (plus, you can independently control each part). The app is easy to use and control, and you can leave it in the hands of a trusted partner and get steamy! This vibrator also works wonders for couples doing long-distance as your partner can still control your vibrator even from a different city (or country or continent!).

Good for: Long-distance lovers

Available at TakeToys (various locations across Hong Kong), or buy online. 

Read More: The Best Sex Positions For Every Occasion

Womanizer Starlet 3 – Compact-Sized Clitoral Stimulator

Do not underestimate this palm-sized product, this reasonably priced, suction vibrator from Womanizer is the go-to sex toy for many beginners and regular users alike. Using Pleasure Air Technology you can expect gentle (well, depends on which level you’re keeping it at!) and indirect clitoris stimulation. There are only two buttons — to add and decrease intensity levels so you can easily skip past the user manual for this one! And it’s 100% waterproof making it great for a quickie in the shower (for days when you really need it).

Good for: Bringing along during travel and quickies!

Available online at Womanizer. 

Lovehoney Desire Luxury Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator – Pebble-Shaped Silicone Vibrator

Surrender to wave upon wave of blissful sensation with LoveHoney’s clitoral vibrator. There are eight modes of vibration, each with 12 custom speeds of intensity (the world is your oyster). Only about 50% of women orgasm regularly through penetrative intercourse, so to close the gap, bring out this bad boy just when your partner is about to orgasm; it definitely increases the intensity and it’s a win-win situation! Another tip, use a water-based lubricant for optimal pleasure.

Good for: Intense solo sessions and to use with a partner

Available online at Lovehoney.

Read More: The Orgasm Gap: What Is It And How Can I Close It?

Fun Factory VOLTA – Great For Nipple Orgasms

Nipple stimulation is indeed underrated but when done right, you can feel waves of pleasure and orgasm from nipple play. This sex toy from Fun Factory can do just that with its deep, rumbling vibration that comes in six levels and six patterns. The VOLTA’s tips flutter against the clit and labia as well, making this sex toy a versatile pick (plenty of room to play around!). Plus, it’s also suitable for men (place the tip on either side of the shaft)!

Good for: Nipple and clitoral stimulation as well as the shaft — a great option for couples!

Available at Wanta, 2/F, No. 28 Russell Street, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, or order directly from Fun Factory. 

We Vibe The Nova 2 – For Mixed Orgasms, Solo Or In Pairs

Take foreplay and masturbation to the peak of pleasure, the Nova 2 is the perfect option for nonstop, toe-curling satisfaction (did you see that curved design?). Oftentimes, sex toys may not work out due to fit issues but this model is flexible and adaptable to all bodies, plus it can also be controlled remotely via the We-Connect mobile app. There are 13 levels of intensity and you can lock it in place and just let loose, need we say more?

Good for: Deep and intense arousal

Available at TakeToys (We Vibe does not directly ship to Hong Kong)

Smile Makers The Firefighter – Clit Vibrator With Broad Stimulation

The Firefighter redefines external play and explosive orgasms with its broad stimulation and intense massage on the clitoral glans. The flame-shaped vibrator is designed this way to maximise pleasure and spread its waves around your labia, meaning more shivers down your spine! Made using premium silicone sourced from Japan, it feels ultra soft and smooth and is 100% body-safe, cruelty free and vegan (plus, it’s waterproof). You’ll be surprised to know it only costs $399!

Good for: Quickies with a deep stimulation (with multiple orgasms!)

Readily available at Watsons throughout Hong Kong or shop online at Smile Makers. 

Read More: How To Claim Your Feminine Power

The post 7 Sex Toys And Vibrators For Beginners appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

A lot of women grow up with body shame around their genitals. We are often given messages that these parts are dirty, smelly, and meant to be hidden away like the rest of our sexuality. Porn and the media often paint an unrealistic picture of all genitalia, holding them to impossible beauty standards. Cosmetic and plastic surgery procedures like labiaplasty are booming as people seek to reduce the size of their labia — to get a “designer vulva” that they believe is the “norm”. I’m here to tell you that all vulvas are beautiful and deserve love. Here’s why…

Read more: 5 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey

Why You Should Love Your Vulva And Vagina

As a certified sex coach, I often observe the impact of body shame on people’s sex lives. Sometimes people with vaginas won’t allow their partners to perform oral sex on them, or can’t enjoy sex because they’re so self-conscious of their genitals.

Loving your genitals is an important starting point for building a positive body image and sexual confidence. After all, if we ourselves feel insecure about our genitals, how can we expect others to show them love and attention during sex?

Another critical reason to love your vulva, and vagina, is to help maintain your sexual health. By identifying what our vulvas and vaginas look like, smell like and behave like on a normal day, we’re able to know when something is not right, and when it may be time to see a gynaecologist or go for an STI check-up.

Read more: Feminine Awareness: How To Feel Sensually Empowered

Vulvas Are Not Vaginas

People often use the word “vagina” when they mean “vulva”. I think it’s important to clear up the confusion around this terminology, which often stems from poor sex education. The vagina refers solely to the birth canal while the vulva actually refers to the external parts of the female genitals, including the clitoris, labia and the vaginal opening.

According to Laurie Mintz, psychology professor and author of “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters”, one of my favourite books on the female sexual response, “Every time we use the word ‘vagina’, when we really mean ‘vulva’, we’re erasing the part that gives us the most pleasure.”

I believe that knowing the correct names for our body parts empowers us to take full ownership of them, which is why I’m personally not a fan of using vague euphemisms like “lady parts” or “down there” to refer to the female genitals.

Read more: 10 Commonly Misused & Misunderstood Sexuality Terms Explained

Your Vulva And Vagina Are Normal

Vulvas come in all shapes and sizes, and each one is unique and beautiful. A good way to begin to love your vulva is to normalise looking at it.

Find a comfortable private space and slip off your underwear. Take a hand mirror and position it between your legs, in order to take a proper look at your vulva. Identify the different parts of your vulva’s anatomy. Find the clitoris, urethra, outer labia, inner labia and the vaginal opening.

Observe your vulva closely and see what comes up for you.

• What does your vulva resemble?
• Did anything about how it looks surprise you?
• Does looking at your vulva make you uncomfortable? Or does it feel special and sacred to you?

Pay attention to what your vaginal discharge is like. I suggest repeating this exercise and looking at your vagina at different points during your menstrual cycle, to notice how the discharge changes. (You can use a period tracking mobile app like Clue, which features a handy in-app guide to your discharge and more.)

To help you accept that your vulva is normal, it may help to see a wide range of different vulvas. The Vulva Gallery is a great educational resource I like to recommend that features illustrated vulva portraits and personal stories from real people all around the world.

Send Your Vulva And Vagina Some Love

After getting comfortable with how your vulva looks, I suggest creating some vulva-positive affirmations to help to counter the shameful narratives that many of us have been brought up with around our genitals. Affirmations are personal declarations of self-love that can be used to shift negative thinking to more positive and productive thoughts. Some affirmations I recommend starting with are:

• “My vulva is perfect the way it is”
• “My vagina is worthy of love”
• “I’m so grateful for my vulva because… ”

I encourage you to design your own affirmations that fit your situation and feel the most meaningful for you. Then incorporate them into your very own vulva love ritual. For example, you could set an intention for the session, take a long bath or shower, spend some time rubbing in a scented lotion, set up some candles and then look in the mirror while repeating those affirmations.

If you want to learn more about the power of affirmations and managing your inner critic in the bedroom, this Better in Bed podcast episode will give you more practical, self-love tips.

Read more: How Can I Become More Confident In Bed?

Know What Turns Your Vulva On

It would be remiss to talk about the vulva without special mention of the clitoris. Research shows that it’s clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation that is the most direct path to orgasm. The clitoris is the powerhouse of pleasure for a person with a vagina. It has twice the number of nerve endings than the most sensitive part of the penis. And because the clitoral network of nerves extends into the body, the clitoris is now thought to be responsible for G-spot and vaginal orgasms too.

One of the best ways to love your vulva is to give it pleasure, and masturbation is a powerful tool for this. If you’re new to self-pleasure, then start by sensually touching different parts of your vulva and vagina either with your fingers or a sex toy. Try to create a “map” of the various areas of your vulva and vagina which respond well to touch.

You can look up more techniques for female pleasure on OMGYes, which shows the results of the biggest scientific study of female sexuality with over 20,000 women or sign up for a sex coaching session to get more tailored support.

Read more: Pleasure Hacks – How To Experience Orgasmic Bliss

Loving Your Vulva And Vagina Is A Lifelong Practice

Body positivity and self-love are things many women struggle with and learning to embrace and love these hidden parts of ourselves, like our genitals, can take time, patience and self-compassion. It’s something that can and should be practised on a daily basis and will ultimately help boost your confidence and fuel a better sex life.

Read more: How To Claim Your Feminine Power

The post How To Love Your Vulva appeared first on Sassy Hong Kong.

It undoubtedly feels good when you’ve been able to complete a whole list of tasks in a day. As women, we’re notoriously known to multitask and we like to keep busy (sometimes to the point of overworking ourselves), otherwise we feel unproductive or not useful. We must, however, remember the importance of being in touch with one’s self. This will ultimately help you to achieve more with effort. Ahead, I’ll guide you through how we can harness our feminine power and use it to our advantage.

Read more: 5 Ways To Get Started On Your Sexual Wellness Journey

What Is Feminine Energy, And Why Do We Need It?

Between trying to be a useful and productive member of the community, and making sure our well-being is looked after, many of us feel overwhelmed, confused and unsure about how to balance our lives, let along navigate the terrain of femininity.

We are constantly running around, checking off our to-do lists, pushing forward without pause. This is considered “doing” – the so called masculine route to power and success as opposed to feminine “being”. What if there was another way to get the job done without having to wear yourself out? We have been led to believe that our “being” is a weakness, but it could in fact be our greatest strength. A woman is much more powerful “being” in her open and inner feminine power than a woman under the stress and pressure of “doing”.

What Is Feminine Power?

We all lust for power in one way or another. But power comes in many forms. It can be intellectual, a strength in character or energetic force. There’s also power in having solid connections and relationships. These are examples of invisible energy.

Feminine gifts and strengths are not always visible and therefore are often overlooked, whereas the masculine “doing” approach to success is more measurable. But success does not need to be quantified. All we should focus on is harnessing our invisible powers so that we may reach our fullest potential.

Read more: How To Feel Sensually Empowered

What Does An Empowered Woman Look Like Today?

An empowered woman is one that is happy, fulfilled and leads with pleasure. She does things that feel good for her. She makes time for herself and does things that nourish her. The empowered woman knows when and how to switch between the masculine “go” and feminine “flow”. She’s balanced, and has the energy to lift herself up and also those around her. She also knows she doesn’t have to do it all on her own.

The empowered woman asks herself: Am I doing what feels good for me, or am I doing what I feel I’m supposed to do? Does my work and lifestyle give me fulfilment? Do my relationships support me? Now it’s your turn to ask yourself these questions. Answer them honestly in order to help yourself claim your empowered being.

Read more: Your Guide To Achieving Total Self-Love

3 Ways To Strengthen Your Feminine Power

 Connect To Your Power Centre

Female power sits in a woman’s hips, womb, and heart. However, many women are completely disconnected from the neck down because it seems unproductive to be connected to our bodies. We are constantly in our heads, intellectualising and strategising. We have lost touch with our own instinctual and deeper knowing, which is connected to our womb space.

One of the only times we lovingly connect with our womb is through pregnancy, or sometimes through sex. But what we don’t realise is that the womb is also a woman’s centre of creativity, emotions, desires, love, strength, power and magnetism. It’s our web of life – and it’s mighty! We tend to store a lot of trauma and emotions in our womb from past sexual experiences, emotional relationships, hurt, painful periods or birth experiences. But when we connect to this feminine space lovingly, it leaves us feeling fully alive, open, integrated, and allows us to experience wild freedom in ourselves.

 Build Powerful Relationships

Accessing the power of your femininity means you don’t build walls; you build relationships. Of course, this first starts with the relationship you have with yourself. Coming from a place of emptiness and longing will only disempower you, making it essential that you take responsibility for your own needs, nourish yourself, and not blame others for your neglect.

As for relationships with others, are you building bridges or walls? Are you allowing yourself to receive? Do you express what you want and need from a place of honesty, clarity and openness? Or do you hold back your feelings? Being in your feminine power means letting go of trying to control every little thing, knowing when to say no, and being open to radical honesty in the moment. This will help build powerful relationship dynamics, creating a dance of polarity between the masculine and the feminine with your partner.

Read more: How To Date With Ease

 Prioritise Pleasure Daily

Pleasure is not something we often talk about or get taught. We need to go on a path of self-discovery to explore what gives us pleasure (both inside and outside the bedroom). Think about the things that light you up from the inside out. Now practice this daily! When it comes to sex, do you know how to turn on that switch that leads to pleasure, or what turn-offs make you short circuit and disconnect from your pleasure? If not, it’s time to understand this in more depth.

For many of us, shame and past or current hurts tend to hold us back from stepping into our sensual empowerment; it’s necessary to release this in order to feel genuinely embodied in our pleasure. I encourage you to start now and create more pleasure in your life. Stop “doing” less and learn how to “be” more in touch with yourself. That is how you access your feminine power.

Read more: How To Start Having Sex Again After A Breakup

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